The real weapon of mass destruction!!!

India and Pakistan have been at each others throat for a long time now. We ve been going into war for a long time now, mostly unofficial and sometimes official. Since both countries are bound by international laws to obliterate the other country, the Indian strategic think tank is working overtime to somehow get even with Pakistan.

As the popular saying goes,"When every major invention is made, eureka is not the first word. It is usually,"Thatz funny"". This is the perfect example for the above quote. The think-tank, after a hard day's work of thinking, gathered at the the cafeteria to have their traditional samosa and tea. One of the analyst in that team had a very bad stomach and farted pretty badly, but it turned out to be the silent killer type of fart which only pollutes the air without any noise pollution. This effect was observed by our think tank and a new idea was born.

After making a lot of risk, quality and effect analysis, the think tank finally came to a conclusion that they would send highly trained mercenaries to infiltrate every possible rank in the Pakistan army. The purpose- To fart and puke in the enemy camp so badly that they can never think straight. Yes, some of you might say this is Biological warfare, but there is no rule against farting!!!!!

After several months of grinding training, these elite and top secret mercenaries had to be tested out. Instead of trying them out on Pakistan, this secret group was loaned to the Srilankan government to fart the tigers out of hiding. The results were astounding. Many of the tigers screamed for mercy and a lot of them surrendered. Prabhakaran had no clue as to what hit him and recent news is that he is into seclusion and is planning to convert himself and the rest of the tigers to Zoroastrianism. Such was the effect of this great weapon.

The Indian government is currently trying to patent this process of training mercenaries. Also, this training is going to be made compulsory in training along with arms and other survival training.

God save the country who dares to try and rub us the wrong way!!!

DAMN!!!!

Ever come across a situation when you wanted to say something and end up saying that was absolutely non-contextual??? Well, Such things happen to me time and again. When I try to concentrate on what I actually want to say, I forget a lot more than I usually forget and end up with a blank face in front of my boss.

The other day it so happened that my boss wanted to talk to me regarding certain issues and called me to his cabin. Well, these issues were already taken care of and the necessary steps had been taken. So I was pretty confident that I could tackle all his questions and stepped into his cabin with a wide grin. Actually I had prepared for this assault question by question and there was no way I would mess it up. The first question he asked was,"So Sridhar, Had a nice vacation in coimbatore? I miss the place a lot." to which I reply, "The engineers from DATS will be here today at 11 and the installation will be over in a week". Now the boss is completely confused and I am even more confused. I finally gather the courage and ask him," Err, What did you ask, sir?" I was embracing myself for a big lecture on attentiveness from him when all he did was laugh his heart out. The more he laughs, the more I sweat. I try to give a weak smile and on seeing that he bursts out into another laughter spree. I wanted to run out of the office right then. I actually stood up and I wanted to say," Sir,Could you excuse me for a moment? I need to use the rest room" and wound up saying," I need to use the server room. Can you excuse me?" That sealed it. He actually made me sit there for 10 minutes and made me see him laugh his intestines out. He offered me some water which I gladly drank and somehow managed to get through the whole meeting without further embarrassment.

By the time I got out of his cabin, the entire staff was waiting for me outside. They had expected the boss to thrash me but when they heard laughter from the cabin, they had all gathered around and listened to the entire episode. Never in my life had I blushed like that before. It was one of those days where I was really at loss of words and one of those which I would never repeat.

Today when I think about that meeting, my face automatically lights up. Guess in today's high pressure environment, such episodes(though not as outlandish as this) provide that rare genuine laughter that not a lot of other events provide.